Decoding Personalities: Communicating with Emotional Intelligence and a Trauma-Informed Approach in Conflict Situations
- May 15, 2024
- 3 min read

Effective communication during conflict is crucial, especially when dealing with individuals who have experienced trauma. A trauma-informed approach prioritizes understanding and sensitivity, fostering a safe and supportive environment.
Here is how to apply this approach to various personality types in conflict situations: assertive, passive, aggressive, avoidant, collaborative, and emotional.
1. The Assertive Type
Assertive individuals express their thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, standing up for their rights while considering others.
Trauma-Informed Communication Tips:
- Acknowledge Their Perspective: Validate their feelings and thoughts to show respect.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Facilitate a balanced conversation where both parties can share their views.
- Provide Support: Reinforce their ability to communicate effectively, offering reassurance that their input is valued.
2. The Passive Type
Passive individuals often avoid expressing their true feelings or needs, fearing conflict or rejection.
Trauma-Informed Communication Tips:
- Create a Safe Space: Ensure a non-threatening environment where they feel comfortable speaking up.
- Encourage Expression: Gently prompt them to share their thoughts, reinforcing that their voice matters.
- Be Patient: Give them time to articulate their feelings without pressure or interruption.
3. The Aggressive Type
Aggressive individuals may express their feelings and needs in a forceful and sometimes hostile manner, prioritizing their own needs over others'.
Trauma-Informed Communication Tips:
- Stay Calm: Maintain a calm demeanour to de-escalate the situation.
- Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate acceptable behaviour while acknowledging their emotions.
- Redirect Focus: Guide the conversation towards problem-solving rather than confrontation.
4. The Avoidant Type
Avoidant individuals tend to withdraw from conflict and may deny or minimize issues to evade discomfort.
Trauma-Informed Communication Tips
- Gently Engage: Approach them with sensitivity, ensuring they feel safe.
- Acknowledge Discomfort: Recognize their tendency to avoid conflict and express understanding.
- Encourage Gradual Involvement: Slowly involve them in the discussion, respecting their pace.
5. The Collaborative Type
Collaborative individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions, valuing cooperation and shared goals.
Trauma-Informed Communication Tips:
- Foster Teamwork: Encourage their collaborative spirit by focusing on common goals.
-Value Contributions: Highlight the importance of their input in achieving a resolution.
- Support Synergy: Facilitate a cooperative environment where all parties work together effectively.
6. The Emotional Type
Emotional individuals often experience and express intense feelings, which can influence their reactions in conflict.
Trauma-Informed Communication Tips:
- Acknowledge Emotions Validate their feelings, showing empathy and understanding.
- Provide Emotional Support: Offer reassurance and a listening ear, helping them feel heard.
- Guide Rational Discussion: Help them focus on facts and solutions, balancing emotional expression with practical problem-solving.
General Principles of Trauma-Informed Communication
Regardless of personality type, some general principles apply when communicating with a trauma-informed approach:
1. Safety: Ensure physical and emotional safety to foster a trusting environment.
2. Trustworthiness: Be consistent and transparent to build trust.
3. Choice: Empower individuals by offering choices and respecting their autonomy.
4. Collaboration: Promote a collaborative approach, valuing input from all parties.
5. Empowerment: Focus on strengths and encourage personal growth and self-efficacy.
6. Cultural Sensitivity: Recognize and respect cultural differences, adapting communication accordingly.
Communicating with a trauma-informed approach in conflict situations requires sensitivity, empathy, and adaptability. By understanding and addressing the unique needs of different personality types—assertive, passive, aggressive, avoidant, collaborative, and emotional—you can create a supportive environment that promotes healing and constructive resolution.
Remember, the key is to prioritize safety, trust, and empowerment, fostering a space where everyone feels respected and heard.
Comments